Different oral sex techniques

Just like the rest of your sex routine, oral benefits from mixing it up. For those with vulvas, there are typically two kinds of toys that mimic the pleasure of oral sex: suction vibrators that feel like suction and use waves and vibration for ultra-intense oral feeling and faux-tongue-like toys that have rubber or silicone nubbins that mimic the more superficial feeling of a literal tongue on your vulva. For faux-tongue-mimicry, we like the Lelo Ora 3, which has a thin layer of silicone stretched over a drum with a tongue-like nubbin that moves in circles and different patterns, that along with vibration, can feel very real. You can also use these toys with a partner the next time your tongue gets tired, or show your partner how you like to be pleasured. Likewise for those with male partners, a blowjob sleeve can be a great way to reacquaint themselves with just how pleasurable oral can really be.

Penis-in-vagina sex is not the be-all-end-all of sex. Oral sex can be just as pleasurable — if not more so — than penetrative sex. You know whose genital juice tastes like cookies and cream? We all have a taste down there. Avoid garlic, onions, asparagus, and cabbage, which reportedly make for a less-than-pleasant flavor. Any skin-to-skin contact with the genitals can spread STIs. The same goes for contact with vaginal, penile, or anal secretions.

If you're new here, you may want to get my discreet newsletter to learn how to make your lover sexually obsessed with you and only you. Click here to get it. It's free. It's discreet.

First step: Stop thinking of it as a job. Done correctly, oral sex can be satisfying for both of you — so long as you follow this sage advice. Everybody wins! It sounds intimidating, but the payoff is worth it. Foreplay can mean the difference between a standard oral sex experience and the best.